


i'm here.

by n0nbinney



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Minor Injuries, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Thunderstorms, a teensy bit of angst, anita has a therapy dog, headcanons, not beta read we die like men, this kinda sucks but hush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:42:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23534014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/n0nbinney/pseuds/n0nbinney
Summary: It's ass-o-clock in the morning and Ajay's woken up by a call for help.
Relationships: Bangalore | Anita Williams/Lifeline | Ajay Che
Comments: 9
Kudos: 45





	i'm here.

**Author's Note:**

> HEY so this is my first work, please please please be gentle qwq
> 
> keep in mind I am NOT a psychologist/therapist, so if I got something wrong about PTSD symptoms I'm so sorry!! ideally, we live in a perfect world and this doesn't harm anyone ^^;

It was late.

 _Too_ late.

Ajay blinked her eyes, trying to shake off what felt like dumbbells. She never had been a morning person, but judging by the fact that there wasn't any light coming in through her blinds, she figured it wasn't necessarily morning. She took a deep breath, stretching on the bed and arching her back. She looked over at the small analog she had on her side table, making out the glowing letters through her sleepy haze.

**3:25.**

_Lord almighty._

The legends had a small vacation period while the new arena was being built, letting them collect their things so they could move into the close-quartered dropship. If she was being honest, the legend wasn't really doing much- but it still irked her that she was being robbed of valuable sleep. She fumbled around on her nightstand for what was making the incessant buzzing noise, grabbing at her phone and putting it to her ear. Before she can get a word in, there’s a voice.

“Hey.”

“...Anita?” Ajay mumbled, sitting up in bed and rubbing her eyes. She couldn't believe Anita Williams, model IMC marine, long time Apex Legend, was calling her at 3 in the goddamn morning. it was a little ridiculous- but then again, she wasn't going to hang up. If she was being honest, she would love to receive more calls from Anita. After all, having a big fat crush on a pretty girl wasn't easy to sustain without _some_ contact. “Wha’s wrong? You need sumn?” she continued gently, hearing the shaky breathing on the other line.

It was quickly corrected.

Sort of.

There was a moment of pause.

“Please.” Anita’s voice was breaking, and it’s not the ‘ _I’ve just woken up and forgotten how to speak’_ breaking, it’s… it’s an emotional breaking, and not one that’s familiar to Ajay coming from Anita. She’s never heard her speak like that.

“..Please what?” Ajay asked, bringing her knees to her chest for the moment.

“I- never mind, it’s stupid, I just-”

“Anita.” Ajay said sternly, and she heard Anita let out a breath.

“I just- I-I need someone over here.” she whispered, almost like she was ashamed.

She’d definitely never heard the proud marine like this before. She was always so confident, so poised in her movements, her speech, everything she did radiated an expectancy for admiration- and obviously, she got it. That's honestly what she admired about Anita. _That_ was a woman that knew what she wanted, and got it. This was so… _different_. Unusual territory that Ajay wasn’t sure she could tread. But she would be damned if she didn’t try.

“I’ll be righ’ over. Hang tight, ‘kay?” she muttered, getting up from her bed and heading to the door, only bothering to grab a rain jacket on her way out.

“Copy that.” the soldier said, her voice steady, yet void of anything emotion-wise. It was clear to Ajay there was something else she needed to say- but before she could press, Anita hung up. Ajay hurried over, still in her pajamas from how rushed she was. She had just realized that while knocking on the door, essentially drenched with rain. It had been heaving down, thundering and pouring 'til kingdom come. She heard a loud clap of thunder, which shook her to her core- then heard a thunk from inside, followed by a hushed ‘ _dammit_ ’ and footsteps shortly after. Anita opened the door, her normally hardened expression absent from her face. Any expression absent from her face, actually. She looked empty, borderline dead. Not something unfamiliar to Ajay, unfortunately.

Anita didn’t… say anything, she just nodded and stepped aside.

Ajay got the cue.

She stepped in and looked around, and the first thing she noticed was a smashed picture frame on the TV stand. She could tell Anita was embarassed, because of how quickly she went to swipe it out of view.

“That- that was Mac. He jumped up, and…” the excuse died on Anita’s lips when she could see Ajay wasn’t buying it. The well behaved service dog was sat on the couch, anyway, across the room. Anita was a lot quieter when she spoke next.

“I was sleeping out here. I knocked it off on accident. It’s fine, I can replace it.” she admitted, setting the broken frame down where it had originally been. Ajay caught a glimpse- it was of Anita and her brother. They had an arm around each other, their IMC Armed Forces uniforms neat and gently pressed. They had big smiles on their faces, her brother jokingly trying to run his knuckle through Anita’s hair. Ajay glanced up, and she saw Anita’s far off look while she stared at the picture. Her eyes were darkened, gray, far off.

“Why’d you need me here, ‘Nita?” the female asked gently, no beating around the bush apparently. Anita whipped her head up, expression distressed for a fleeting second, then stone once more the next. She didn’t have an excuse prepared, it seemed, so she went for her go-to.

“I got bored. Wanted company.” Ajay held back the urge to roll her eyes.

“It’s three in the morning, Anita.”

“You came anyway.” Anita shot back, tensing up a little. Ajay could tell she was overstaying her welcome by arguing.

“Cause I’m worried about you.” Ajay mumbled, looking at her coworker worriedly. “How much sleep have you been getting? How about I make you some tea, and you can get some rest-”

“ _No!_ ” Anita shouted, but she quickly tried to pick up and explain, seeing how Ajay flinched. “I-I just- I don’t- you’re here, and- I don’t need it.” she mumbled quietly. She looked around the room, able to sense the tension apparently. “Uh… want anything to drink?” she asked, desperately trying to shift topics. Ajay didn’t really need anything, but it was clear Anita needed _something_ to do.

“Yeah, ‘course. Jus’ water.” she said, smiling at the marine, who nearly sprinted to the kitchen.

 _Whew_.

Ajay sighed, going over and sitting down on the couch. It was clear that Anita had been sleeping out here, the couch was warm and there was a fleece blanket bunched up near the opposite arm. She gently pet sleeping Mac, lost in her thoughts.

_What was keeping her from sleeping in her room?_

She heard the sound of running water, and obviously figured that-

**_CRACK!_ **

Thunder rumbled through the apartment.

**_SMASH!_ **

“Shit- fuck- god, damn-” Anita’s shouts were close behind.

Ajay hurriedly got up, running into the kitchen and looking through the doorway. Just then, baby Mac made his way from the couch, concerned about his owner. The sight before them was miserable. Anita, knelt on the floor, water everywhere, hurriedly picking up glass shards and holding some emotion back. It was clear, her face had gone full marine- cold and hard as the tile she was knelt on.

“Anita…” Ajay whispered soothingly, and Anita jolted, so focused on her task and holding herself together that she seemed to forget that Ajay was there. With her reflex, her body bunched up- and her fingers curled around broken glass in her hands.

“Fuck-”

“Oh- Anita, get to the sink-” Ajay started worriedly, walking forward, but Anita locked eyes with her.

“I can handle it.” she gruffed, and it was supposed to be threatening, but… it felt like anything but. If she was being honest, it felt more like a cry for help, the look in her eyes pleading instead of warning. She was just saying that because she didn’t… know anything else. She was like a wounded animal, almost, hunched over her wound, growling out of fear more than anything else. Ajay walked forward, ignoring the glass on the floor and pulling the marine up like she had done so many times in King's Canyon.

“Ajay, I said-” Anita tried to argue, but let herself be tugged to the sink by the medic regardless.

“I know what yah said, ‘Nita. I’m jus’ ignorin’ you.” Ajay smirked, and Anita frowned, but didn’t have anything to retort. They stopped at the sink, Ajay rinsing Anita’s hands in the sink gently. She left, coming back quickly with her bag, and using tweezers from it to pull out the tiny shards of glass. Each time a shard came out, she would look at Anita’s face. No wince, no flinch, nothing. Stone cold. Makes sense, she supposed. She sighed, and so did Anita, rubbing at her hands while Ajay grabbed an alcohol wipe.

“I-I’m sorry. I… they…” she whispered, trying to excuse her actions, but then a familiar sound.

**_CRACK!_ **

And everything shifted.

Anita wasn't an awkward woman in her apartment with hands bleeding from a broken drinking glass, she was an IMC soldier on the battlefield trying to protect a civilian from a bomb. It was evident on her face- and the way she yelled ‘ _GET DOWN!_ ’ ducking down behind the island in the kitchen.She pulled Ajay down with her, body curled protectively around the female. She was breathing shakily, looking around frantically. Ajay could hear her heart pounding in her chest, going a mile a minute. Then, it all clicked in place. PTSD.

 _How_ did she not realize if before?

Anita’s PTSD was acting up fiercely, probably due to the thunder and lightning reminding the marine of gunshots. She looked up at Anita, who was now just… holding her there, against her chest, looking out for any threats. God… this was the first time Ajay had seen Anita like this, and- and she didn’t even know what to do, the female was so… _unfamiliar,_ now. She knew kind but stern Anita, protective and strong Anita, not… panicked Anita, _scared_ Anita. And then she heard something she’d never heard before.

Anita had snapped out of her trance, and… and she was _crying_. Choking back sobs while tears streaked down her face, holding on to Ajay and squeezing. She was shaking, fingers gripping at Ajay’s tank top, desperately trying to get a grip on herself and her reality. Ajay looked up, and turned around as much as she could, cupping Anita’s cheeks, wiping the tears that escaped her shut tight eyes. And with the touch, the comfort, Anita only seemed to break more, one sob bubbling up and escaping- and the rest just fell out after it.

She choked out names, ‘ _August_ ’ and ‘ _Jackson_ ’ and ‘ _Amy_ ’,none that Ajay recognized but knew they had some significance.

“’Nita… ‘Nita, it’s okay, you’re not there anymore. You’re… you’re here, with us. With me, yeah? You’re safe here, Annie. Nothin’s gonna hurt ya, and you aren’t hurtin’ anyone.” she said softly, grazing her thumbs across Anita’s cheeks. Sure, it was partially a lie- after all, they _did_ participate in a blood port- but technically they didn't die?

_Whatever, you've got more important things to worry about right now._

Focusing back on Anita, Ajay started to rub her back gently with one hand. Anita just kept crying, but now she was holding onto her free hand, fingers curled around her wrist and squeezing like she was a lifeline. They sat in the marine’s kitchen, on the uncomfortable tile, while the storm raged outside. After a few moments, Anita’s face pressed into Ajay’s shoulder, Anita croaked something quietly. She didn’t hear it at first.

“What was that, Annie?”

“I… I’m sorry.” she whispered, shame bubbling through her tone.

“Don’ be. I’m here to help, Annie.” Ajay responded firmly. She then insisted that she stay the night, just to make sure nothing bad happened. She was worried about Anita, and she hoped it was obvious she was doing it because she wanted to, not because she had to. Anita begrudgingly agreed. Ajay helped get Anita comfortable, the soldier obviously not too functional after such a hard emotional crash.

Water, blankets, Mac.

The perfect concoction.

Anita was settled, and Ajay was about to crash somewhere, (the chair in the corner of the room?) when Anita said something that nearly made her jump out of her skin.

“Ajay, I can’t- I need you to-” she struggled for a little unfortunately. “Sleep with me.” The marine quickly backtracked. “That’s not- I didn’t- I meant in- in the same bed, not-” she blabbered from the couch, and while she was running her mouth off, Ajay came over and laid down. Anita's stammering was caught in her throat as Ajay made herself comfortable, scooting up a little and letting Anita rest her head on her chest. She hoped that the marine wouldn't hear her heart going faster than Octavio's while he was stimming. If she did, she didn't say anything about it.

“Quit ya yappin’. Don’ wanna sound too much like Elliott, do ya?” she teased, and Anita pursed her lips gently.

“I wasn’t-” A pointed look from Ajay makes her swallow her argument and give a weak smile instead. “Thanks.” she mumbled in the quiet of the dark apartment, embracing Ajay’s warmth eagerly. She leaned into her arms, then adjusted- arms around her waist, face pressed into her chest. Ajay laughed. She was glad that Anita was getting herself together, even if it took a while. Now that she was calmed down, all of the panic was seeping out of Ajay, being replaced with exhaustion. She pulled out her phone to look at the time- 3:59. Not too bad.

“Don’ get too comfy, solja.” she whispered teasingly, rubbing her back gently, other hand on Anita's head.

“You know… I didn’t even mean to call you.” Anita murmured into her shirt, and Ajay scoffed.

"Betcha you're glad ya did, hm?" she mused, starting to massage Anita's scalp. this was clearly putting her to sleep, so Anita managed a slight nod. And there they sat, listening to the soft drumming of the rain. When she heard Anita's breath slow, Ajay allowed her movements to still, closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep. Whenever thunder clapped, Anita tensed and held on to Ajay just a bit tighter. Thankfully, however, the night went on without another hiccup.


End file.
